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Episode 9
Episode 9: Summertime and the Living is Vacation-y Release Date July 3, 2013 Summary Jen sits in bed to talk to you about summertime, including tales of a creepy gym teacher from 1986, her hatred of The Cars, fireworks and coconuts, the awesomeness of public pools and the awfulness of arts and crafts. Notes 0:14 - 2:00 Jen starts the episode off by saying this is episode 8 but it's actually episode 9. She is in bed, on vacation. She tries to write a song about summer vacation. She opens a door so we can hear the sounds of summer outside. 2:00 - 2:55 Jen expresses her hatred for the band . She also hates coconut. 2:55 - 7:23 Jen tells a story about her creepy gym teacher in 6th grade who lived in a trailer in the parking lot of the school. She hates guys with super veiny arms and this gym teacher had them. She reveals that she can't do a cartwheel and says she'll probably never learn to do one. She says her teacher used to make them wear short shorts and do cartwheels to Cars songs. She says the word 'boobs' a lot. 7:23 - 7:46 Jen interrupts her story to exclaim that she thinks there in a toddler in the room above hers in the hotel. 7:46 - 9:25 Jen continues a story about gym class when a mean girl hurt herself. She reveals that even at age 11 she was a rabble-rousing , sticking up for those with boobs because she herself would one day have them. 9:25 - 13:29 Jen talks about loving summertime as a kid, living in a house on the 4th hole of a golf course. She would putt and watch game shows. A greasy griddle chef used to give her ice cream. She imitates her parents talking about who her dad's boyfriend would be if he was gay. She used to hear disco music through her window from the golf club weddings. 13:29 - 15:27 Jen tells tales of the public pool as a kid. She says camouflage shirts lead to punk phases. She also used to read lots of books because she was smart, and also into pools. 15:27 - 17:12 Jen says not to worry about what she's doing or where she is on vacation. She rants about July 4th and bar-b-ques. She doesn't like things that explode or grilling. 17:12 - 20:31 Jen talks about a pivotal summer with her friend Meredith, wearing what they thought was punk rock clothes. She stops to answer a text. She says she was so thin as a kid that they thought she had leukemia. 20:31 - 30:00 Jen says she was made fun of as a kid because she called attention to herself and did weird stuff. She talks about her dorky friend Jenny who would get bullied. She rants about bullies and then says to play it for your kids. She swears a lot. She tells a story about protecting Jenny, by using her Boston accent, and being "rewarded" by being taken on a retreat to a cabin with no running water, where she had to protect Jenny yet again. She mentions having a crush on . 30:00 - Jen says she doesn't know what the point of this episode was. She talks about a guy she liked, and went out with when she was 17;They watched a . She talks about another guy she dated; They danced to . 33:07 - 35:33 Jen realizes that now she is just going memory to memory and making no sense. She admits she's distracted, on vacation, and wants to go eat - so the episode will be short. She says she loves . She says that the fun they were having during made her want to be an entertainer. 35:33 - 35:16 Plugs. She talks about her excitement over getting to be on the same show with at an . Quotes "He was probably my age back then but he seemed that indefinite creep age - where you know he's not your age and you know he might not be your dad's age, but he's just so creepy he's ageless." "Of course I want the free ice cream, but I don't want it to seem like I wanted the free ice cream...which has been a problem throughout my whole life, then you don't get what you want, then you're mad at everybody." "I've always hated crafts." Category:Episodes